Insider Trading and Tuna Salad

I love the concept of investing to get rich. Getting rich quick sounds a lot better than slowly getting rich. Being rich sounds better yet. If you have a few minutes to read this, I will give you some insider trading tips that will give you a rock solid return on investment. If this sounds too good to be true, well it's because I'm just using teaser lines to get your attention. If I were really good at investment advice, I would make up two pages of teasers, swear I was going to send you the advice absolutely free and then of course, have you send money to get free advice. I'm going fore go that and just give you the advice since I have to finish the blog and do chores. I just don't have all day to write teasers.

Here goes. The government is printing money out of thin air and is driving down the value of the dollar. You can debate the reason, but not the fact. Oil is responding to this decrease in dollars. It has already moved the oil price up and it is going go up further. Rising oil prices effect the price of almost everything.
Pay attention, here is your insider tip: You need to be in commodities with your money to capitalize on growing your capital.

You could buy pork bellies and profit very nicely like Eddie Murphy did in "Trading Places". I stay away from them because of chloesterol. I invest in tuna fish and other things I can eat without feeling too guilty. Investing in food is a safe way to get a good ROI in periods of inflation. (ROI is return on investment. I used ROI so you would see just how savvy I am at investment advice.)


Here are some advantages to investing in your food supply to make a wildly profitable commodities play.

1) No brokerage fee and very small amounts can be invested weekly.

2) It is easy to diversify. Modern supermarkets are loaded with opportunities for the even the smallest investers.

3) You already know the prices of your favorite commodities. When something is a steal, well, just go ahead and steal lots of it.

4) Stay away from perishables for long term investing. Having six cases of lettuce is not going to workout that well even a couple of weeks down the road. (dabbling in perishables is day trading and can be wildly profitable as long as you don't get carried away.

5) You can eat your mistakes before they become toxic (unless you got carried away day trading.)

6) Food investments are tax exempt. Beer and wine are not, but are liquid assets and should not be completely ingnored as short term investments with a lot of upside. I'm not talking potential upside--I mean real upside-- the kind that can have fruity overtones with hints of pepper and a pleasing finish.



7) Unlike stock (for example general motors stock) your investment will not evaporate (unless you leave the lid off or have been day trading)

8) You can actually see and touch your tangible assets. Bank accounts and stocks are just blips in a computer. Identity theft, hacking and crashes don't effect your investment unless you've done a poor job of stacking glass jars and it causes a crash in your pantry.

9) Shopping increases your profits and timing the market is not tricky at all. I just eat when I'm hungry and buy when I'm at the store.

10) Other than perishables, food prices are usually stable and steadily increasing until something like OIL PRICES, and NEW GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS (for example the sweeping ones just passed in congress to protect us from the food supply) causes prices to increase more rapidly.

Food might come in handy during calamities. No matter where you live, the food supply in that area is controlled by computer programs designed to keep inventory at a minimum. This is good business because it increases ROI, but if supply lines are interupted, they only have a few days supply of the most useable items. I know that it will be too late to start on your pantry portfolio if riots from food shortages have already started. All the real bargains will be gone by then.

A calamity might be job loss or perhaps you live in a neighborhood where "what's shak'n? refers to actual geologic gyrations of the neighborhood. All good reasons to invest in food.

Some of you may be dubious of taking investment advice from someone living in a barn with no income. Well, I was never really rich until I had the time to pursue my hobby of being poor. Now, thanks to prudent food investments, I am comfortable, as very rich people like to say.