Snowshoeing

Sitting by the fire and sipping coffee, snow shoeing sounds like fun. Snowshoes open up the woods and give you access to places that you can't get to in the summer. Getting out there in the woods, sun shining, birds singing, a nip in the air, laughing at winters grip--some or all of these things caused me to look over at Kris sitting comfortably in her rocking chair, feet up, mug of tea, completely content and blurt "Hey, why don't we go snowshoeing?"

Kris looked over surprised. I was sitting in my rocking chair with both feet up next to hers. "Now?"

The possibility of going immediately hadn't been considered. Snowshoeing is best sometime in the future, usually far enough you forget to go. Dreaming of snowshoeing is a lot more fun than actually going snowshoeing. Well, I was committed "Now". I looked at the dirty dishes on the shelf and out the window at the sunshine glistening on the mounds of snow. "Yeah, it's gorgeous out, maybe we can follow some deer tracks, see where they go." I was trying to encourage myself more than Kris. She loves this kind of stuff. So, before I could weasel out of it, Kris and I were out strapping on snowshoes.

It wasn't long before my legs ached and my heart was pounding. I looked up to see where I was at. Wow, I was almost out of the dooryard. If I was going to make it all the way to the fire circle, I was going to have to slow down. "Look at the bird feeder" I gasped and stopped for a minute.

Kris looked over, "Why? There are no birds in it."
"Yeah, don't you find that strange?" I wheezed. "I wonder where they went?" I was hoping for a long answer here.
"I don't know. You want me to break trail."
"No, I just found that strange." I plodded on with increasing curiosity, pausing to examine every oddity.
It was getting harder to hear Kris's terse explanations over the pounding of my heart.

It occurred to me that snowshoeing was deliberately trying to induce cardiac arrest while heading deep into a remote, freezing cold, hostile environment. The farther I went, the less likely I might return.

"Isn't this fun," Kris bubbled. Lets go down by the property line and walk the deer trails there."

"Uh" I grunted. Words took too much breath. The property line was a jumble of blow downs, a narrow twisty path and hard walking without snowshoes. If you were looking for a tough rescue area, this would be very good. I found a path and shuffled toward the property line. It was down hill anyway.

Fortunately, endomorphines eventually kick in and dull the pain. My mind was numb and I no longer feigned interest in my surroundings, I just stopped and wheezed till I could go on. After a while, Kris began developing an interest in her surroundings. Mmmm, the worm was starting to turn. She was getting tired. Some dark recess in my mind fed off this and gave me strength, after we walked a ways on the property line we came to the sixteen foot lane which we own that runs most of the way to the Northbend road. Originally, this lane provided cattle from the farm located out there, access to our land, which at the time, was a remote back pasture.

Now, it provided my darkside with a path for revenge. Misery loves company and so do I, so I turned and headed up hill along the old fence that marks the lane. We moved along without conversation. This was now a competition. Fun had ceased being a consideration somewhere out in the woods. This was serious. Male ego vs Female need to humble the male. We trudged on. Finally, we reached the turn that in a quarter mile or so would bring us to the road. I turned and headed that direction. "You wanna go see where this other path goes?" Kris wheezed and managed a smile. I wasn't the only one getting strength from the dark side.
"Dying to," I thought in all likelyhood and turned around accepting this new challenge.

Fortunately for both of us, a tree had fallen not far down the path and provided us an excuse to turn around and head back to the road. By the time I reached the road my legs were changing from lead to rubber. I was considering leaving my snow shoes on since bending over to remove them would surely have caused the cardiac arrest that had patiently waited for just the right opportunity. Evidently the bloodlust had left Kris because she bent over and unbuckled my snow shoes before she did hers. She straighten up and smiled.

Noooo! She could bend over without dieing and I couldn't and she knew it! That was a victory smile!